We Always Knew
by BookGeek21
Summary: Going back to Forks for the first time since graduation for her best friends wedding, Bella discovers that feelings never truly go away. Even after five years. But things have changed, so much more than could have been predicted. -/ sequel to Not Like We've Known(DONT HAVE TO HAVE READ IT THOUGH)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! As mentioned in the summary Not Like We've Known doesn't have to be read because this is just a continuation. I will refer back to like the main events from it though, although I won't be vague about it so if you haven't read it you'll know what happened over time anyway. Anyway Enjoy, it's only been a day but I kind of missed them after the end of NLWK x**

It had taken longer than I remembered to get here. Although I didn't expect to be flying from LAX. But Renee had insisted that I join her and Phil for Thanksgiving, especially because Emmett wasn't going to be there.

My room was still the same old place that I had spent many a night mulling over things. I was glad I was eventually here though, mostly because landing in Seattle had brought back memories that I had mostly ignored since leaving.

"Bella do you want any dinner?" Charlie was downstairs, never changing, he barely looked a day over forty.

"No thanks dad I'm going to the Cullen's for dinner, I wasn't expecting you to be here," I said coming down the stairs. The purple bed spread and fade curtains would greet me later. I had plenty of time to rekindled my friendship with my old room. However it saddened me that Charlie hadn't done anything with it since graduation.

"It's fine, to be honest I thought I would be at work, but it's Black Friday so..."

"Well I should probably head over to the Cullen's now anyway," I motioned to the door.

"Wait," Charlie handed me some familiar keys, "Your old keys, the Chevys out back." Charlie smiled. I looked back at the familiar keys. On the chain were my house keys and car keys, and an old picture of all six of us smiling on my eighteenth birthday. I changed that picture religiously every year.

"Thanks Dad." I hugged him before leaving, to show him my appreciation, especially because I never thought he'd keep my stuff at all.

The Chevy was still a temperamental car, taking a while to start up. Eventually though the brake gave and I was off.

It didn't take long to get to the Cullen's, and I had remembered the route like it had been just yesterday.

"Bella!" Alice squealed as she flew out the front door towards me. I got out the truck and gave her a hug. She was still tiny as ever but she seemed so elegant wearing a faded pink satin dress. I had barely changed, just put on a clean T-shirt.

"Alice I'm not dressed formal!" She smiled at me knowingly.

"Do you think I wouldn't have realised you were going to come dressed like old Bella. Where's you New York clothes, I'm pretty sure you got this out you room!" Alice laughed.

"What can I say, the clothes I brought are all from Renee's and they need washed."

"Well I'll take you to the upstairs of the garage, see how prepared I am and I'm the one who's getting married in two weeks, Christmas Day I can't wait!" Alice squealed again.

We went into the garage and she had laid out a purple dress and black flats for me. She left me to shower and change, leaving me with the instruction to come immediately to the house once I was ready.

I was showered and dress in now time, letting my hair hang. I put my clothes in the trash, Alice was right, my New York clothes are me now, I'm not old Bella, I refuse to be.

As I entered the house I was first greeted by Carlisle and Esme. "Hello Bella," Esme beamed. They both hugged me.

"How have you been?" Carlisle asked.

"Fine thank you, what's it been like here?" I asked politely.

"Not the same," Esme was in thought as she spoke, looking towards the door behind me. I spun around to what she was looking at. Edward in all his glory was standing at the door. His hair tousled in a white shirt. He had rolled the sleeves up and hadn't buttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. My eyes met his and he smiled that devastating crooked smile.

I walked towards him and hugged him, he hugged me back. This was the first time I had seen him in person in five years. Fives years spent video chatting and texting the people that mean the most to me.

"Hey," he said and I couldn't stop smiling. Why was I acting like such a teenage girl, when I was one I had never acted like this.

"Hi," he smirked at my words, amused.

"Dinners ready," Alice shouted from the dining room. Alice sat next to Jasper across from me and Edward. Esme and Carlisle faced each other at the heads of the table.

"Rose and Emmett should have tried to make it!" Alice sighed as we began eating the casserole she had made.

"I can't believe they got married!" Esme said, eyeing Jasper and Alice as she said so.

Edward started laughing, "Sounds just like Emmett, probably off of impulse."

"Vegas was not where I expected Rose to get married to him though," I said, shoving a forkful of casserole into my mouth after.

"I've got to say I didn't either, but Rose can be crazy with him, it's her excuse anyway," Jaspers comment made us erupt in laughter.

"Renee wasn't happy that she heard from me, I thought he would have told her, I'm sure Charlie doesn't know."

"Yeah Tanya doesn't, I'm worried what she'll do, I asked Rose to postpone it till after Alice and mines wedding, just incase," Jasper sighed in disapproval of his mother.

Dinner continued with a conversation of the news, before they moved on to interrogate me about New York, "So journalism Bella?"

"Yup, it took a while but thankfully it's off the ground," I said. Alice and Jasper smiled at me, happy themselves that I was comfortable. Her having her own fashion line and him being a lawyer already. Edward was a doctor just like he said and Emmett and Rose own their own automachanics shop. I was the last one to start earning money from my dream job two years ago. However I'm very comfortable now.

Edwards phone buzzed. Everyone looked at him curiously. He checked it quickly, not bothering to reply. "Who is it?" Esme asked.

"Lauren," he said and I looked at him abruptly. Lauren? Not Lauren from forks! I couldn't stand her in high school let alone be able to stand her now.

"Oh," Esme didn't add to her response, feeling the awkwardness. Alice was eyeing me intently, obviously looking to see if I was upset by this. But I had no reason to be, Edward and I hadn't been a couple for six years now, we were friends, that was all.

"When Jacob flying in?" Alice asked me. Taking the awkwardness out of the Lauren situation and trying to show Edward that it didn't bother me, I was happy to have her as a best friend.

"Next Sunday, he'd be here earlier but Billy wants him to spend two weeks in La Push," I wasn't about to tell him it was because Jake hadn't been able to paint anything in almost a month, I wanted Jake to looked like the knight in shining armour that only came to save me. I was aching for him now, gladly not hung up of Edward and Lauren.

"He can come to my bachelor party then!" Jasper said. I smiled at him grateful for Jakes inclusion.

"He'd love to come," I said.

The night drifted away from couples and news and New York wasn't mentioned again in case the conversation went back to Lauren. We all started talking about the school, how it was having a fundraiser. I doubt any of us will actually go but we needed something to take about.

The night couldn't have ended any quicker...


	2. Chapter 2

**So after a long hiatus I have suddenly been inspired to continue this story- going back to my original plan and changing some ideas here the rest of We've Always Known.**

 _Disclaimer- the story is going to be more adult that it was in terms of spec and topics_

"So I was thinking of Seattle for the hen party" Alice told me as we sat on the floor of the Cullen living room surrounded by various wedding magazines and the final seating plan we had been doing the past hour.

"Seattle?!" I looked at her shocked. I hadn't been to Seattle in over six years, not since I slept with Jasper, whom is marrying Alice in thirteen days. Plus Seattle remained in a dreamscape in my mind whenever I thought of me and Edward, the one time we had been together was there before I ruined it. The brief interlude in our friendship that crossed over into a relationship.

"I know it's a bit weird, but we always used to go to Seattle to party when we were in High School! It was our place as the six of us-" Alice paused, "without Lauren and Jacob."

I had suspected that Alice felt a lot of pull towards the six of us being a group again, especially because we always had been before College. It was just that life had taken us in varying directions, or rather taken me out of Forks whilst my friends remained and were more successful than I imagined could happen in such a small town.

"It's a hen party Alice, so Lauren would be coming" I shuffled the papers on the table attempting to seem distracted, but Alice could always see through me.

"Bella, I don't like Lauren, I never liked her in High School, and I still don't like her now. She isn't coming to my hen party, only you and Rose are!" She exclaimed. I knew Alice didn't like Lauren, she had told me many a time when Edward started dating her, but after a year she stopped, Edward was her brother and she was accepting her- or so I thought.

"Alice," I started to laugh, "you can't do that, Lauren and Edward have been together for over two years now, for all we know they are next to get married and she will be your sister in law"

" Bella, no. I refuse to believe they are right for each other, and she isn't coming to my hen party" Alice looked at me challengingly. She knew I wouldn't kick up any more of a fuss because I wasn't Lauren's biggest fan either, but I didn't want it to seem that way to Edward.

I sighed just as the front door unlocked. Esme walked in with Lauren and Edward behind her.

"Bella dear, I didn't know you were here" Esme smiled at me so genuinely that my heart hurt because no matter what Esme had treated me with so much kindness and love like I was her own daughter, and I had always wanted her to be my mom and not Renee.

"Hi Esme" I said and then smiled at Edward and Lauren. Edward let go of Lauren's hand as they walked through the door.

"Oh Alice, you've been planning the seating" Lauren observed and walked over to us, playing off what Edward had done.

As she looked over the seating chart it was obvious she couldn't understand why she was on a different table to Edward, he forehead furrowed in confusion before she looked around the seating again. Esme watched her and glanced at me pulling and awkward smiled before walking into the kitchen.

"Who is Tanya?" Lauren looked up at us, and I just turned to Laice, she could take this one as she didn't want Lauren sitting on the main table. She had even moved Jacob to sit with Billy and Charlie on a different table with Charlie's other friends from the reservation.

"That's Jaspers mom" Alice said nonchalantly, before picking up a bridal magazine and flicking through it. I looked back at Lauren who was staring at her, obviously angry and conflicted over how to handle to situation.

"Well I best not be staying," she turned back and looked at Edward who just stared back at her blankly. She huffed and walked out the door slamming it behind her.

"I could have handled that better" Edward sighed as he walked over to us. "But I spent all morning with her" he sat down next to me on the floor.

Alice giggled, "Edward why are even with her?"

Edward turned to me, I couldn't remember how long it had been since we had been this close to each other and not on the other side of a computer screen. I could feel the heat of his arm touching my own arm and smell his soft scent that just reminded me of home, hurting my heart. " Because she keeps me distracted"

I got out of Alice's shower and pulled a sweatshirt over my head and pulled on some trackies before walking downstairs to the Cullen kitchen.

Carlisle had come home and taken Esme out for dinner whilst Alice had left to collect a pizza for us to eat. I wasn't originally going to stay over but ALICE reminded me of my duffle that she kept in her wardrobe for when I stayed over, my old forks clothes were left in, with three sweatshirts and sweatpants and various knickers. The only surprising thing in the bag was some black lacy underwear I had never worn before and certainly didn't put on now.

As I opened the kitchen door to go make myself some coffee Edward was standing there on the phone laughing, "Of course, and she's here now- I'll let you speak to her". I looked at Edward in disbelief as he passed me my phone.

"Hello?" I questioned nervously, assuming it was Charlie ready to make me feel guilty for not coming home when Emmett hadn't even arrived yet.

"Bella!" Jacob exclaimed, "Edward was just telling me you've been planning with Alice today" I looked at Edward in disbelief, he and Jacob weren't exactly friends, and Jacob didn't approve of how close I was to Edward especially because we used to date. But they had been friends once upon a time through Edwards ex girlfriend or fling Leah- I'm not sure what Edward classed Leah as- but Jacob always says hi if I FaceTime Edward in New York.

"Yeah we were just getting the final things sorted, I am getting my dress fitted tomorrow," I looked at Edward and motioned that I was leaving, "how about you-" I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, "how's the art been going?" I asked.

"Billy only let me pick up my tools today, he's been having me move things for him at the house and then go to the reservation meetings and volunteer to help chop wood and things for the campfire. I only mangaged to get it started yet but I don't know what I am seeing currently but I think it's going with the present for Alice and Jasper." Jacob already painted a huge portrait of Alice and Jasper entangled in sheets and submerged in water for their wedding present, something I had asked him to do because I knew she would love it. But that was something I had forced him to do, given him the source images of their faces and created a mood board for him to work from. Jacob had lost his spark over the last few months, unbeknownst to me how, but he had been creating less and less and our apartment grew cleaner as he was spending less time in his studio and more time working on the apartment. It worried me slightly how this new piece came to him though.

"How does it go with the painting?" I asked him, curiousity getting the better of me.

"I'm not sure yet I just know it does, I can't tell you where it's coming from though because I'm not even sure" Jacob was a fantastic finger painter, and when we first started dating at the end of senior year I would watch him paint for hours. Then when he moved to New York with me he would paint whilst I wrote and we would spend hours in comfortable solitude together.

"That's really great to hear Jacob," hearing this made me really happy, all I had wanted to do was get Jacob back, the messy painter I had fallen in love with.

"What about you? Have you been writing anything?" He asked me. In truth I only wrote for myself nowadays because I was a senior editor, and most of my work constructed or reconstructing the work of others.

"No, I haven't wrote anything" which wasn't really a lie, but partially one, because I had written in Phoenix as I soaked up the sun, and I didn't know where I was going either with it, my main characters weren't even named, and they had no end goal, just that they were together for the time being and life was really good. I had never written a full novel before, only short story which I published anonymously in a novel featuring a collection of stories all editors by myself. The other although didn't know who had written the fifth story in the novel, and they hadn't asked. But my story had caught the attention of a few people, with reviews in the times asking for a longer story, my boss asking me to hunt down the author and even Jacob who often talked about how raw my telling of teenage love was- unknowing that I had written it.

"Hmmm well maybe when I get there I will have to convince you too" The flirtation from Jacob excited me, I hadn't seen him in what felt like so long and my body felt like it was yearning for him now.

"I like that idea," I reciprocated.

We talked and flirted a bit more, and I calmed myself a little bit, knowing I had to wait another six days because I had no time and the truck didn't have the stamina anymore for a trip to La Push before then. When Jacob hung up I hardly noticed Edward come out of the kitchen.

"Coffee?" He asked and I smiled gratefully. He always knew me. Edward came and sat down next to me.

"Have you and Jacob never considered getting married?" He looked at me intently, and I knew he was trying to read me but I kept my expression as blank as possible.

"Have you and Lauren never considered getting married?" I retorted. Because in truth I didn't know if I wanted to marry Jacob, I was in love with him but sometimes we are both so separate when we are busy that I wonder if we actually are living our lives together or just happen to live together and sleep together.

"Lauren and I haven't been together half as long as you and Jacob" Edward avoided my question much like I avoided his.

"Maybe I'm not the marrying kind, maybe neither of us are, meaning you and me Edward, and I'm happy right now. Marriage isn't something I think about" I told him, and to be honest I never thought about marrying Jacob I just thought about how long we would be together, because at 24 if Emmett was too young in the eyes of our parents I was way way to young.

"Maybe we aren't. But maybe _we_ are" his stress on the 'we' made my chest hot. We hadn't been classed as _we_ in a long time and I wouldn't go back there for fear of messing it up. I don't even know why I am thinking about it because I am with Jacob and I don't want to mess that up, not even to Edward who means the world to me.

"Where's Alice!?" I dejected and he shrugged. I got up, "I think I'll give her a call". I took my coffee and I went back upstairs away from Edward who was messing with my brain.


	3. Chapter 3

As I pulled into the drive of Charlie's house I wasn't looking at the lush green trees or the bare bricks of the house- but Emmetts car covered in streamers with 'just married' spray painted on in gold. Thank god Charlie didn't let him ever use my Chevy or it would have been mutulated instead of his Jeep.

I got out the truck and slammed the door so that Charlie and whoever else happened to be inside knew that I was coming.

Last night Alice had made me rewatch Breakfast at Tiffany's for what felt like the millionth time. I hardly complained though, I watched it whenever I missed her and watching it with her made me so happy. She fell asleep quite early so I stayed up watching trashy reality shows that Renee liked, I could barely keep up I was too busy listening to Edwards phone call with Lauren.

"Hey, I'm sorry about earli-" I could only hear Edward speaking in the Kitchen, and it seemed like Lauren wasn't letting him speak.

"It's Alice's wedding I'm hardly going to argue with her," he paused, "she's my sister Lauren it's different" he stopped again for what I could imagine being Lauren's tirade against either me or Alice for being so unwelcoming.

"I want her to have an amazing wedding..." he seemed to walk further away from the door because I couldn't hear him.

Next thing I knew he was sighing, "Lauren I don't care...was I ever in love with you" he sounded so like Edward and unlike him at the same time. He didn't sound exasperated or tired and I wasn't concerned that she was trying to control him, he seemed to be in control here like he always was and always had been- even if it was difficult to be with me I always respected him, it seemed like there was no respect between him and Lauren. Just his phrase 'was I ever in love with you' sounded more like and affirmation of his own knowledge than his asking a question, and it was clear then that something very serious was happening between them on the phone.

"Good," was the last thing he said after a brief pause before he hung up -I heard the beep- and then start laughing lightly. I'm not sure if it was because of Lauren's absurdity or because he had received a funny message but his good seemed rather final than a celebration.

I pretended to be asleep when he walked out the kitchen. Edward came over and through a blanket over me and turned the television off. In that moment I felt uncomfortable, Edward was being a gentleman as always and I had been sat here listening to his conversation with his girlfriend.

That's was the first night in a long time that I dreamt about Edward Cullen. We were lying in our bed in Hotel X in Seattle, looking out the windows, tangled in each other and tangled in the sheets. The sun was just beginning to rise and only I was awake, looking at his beautiful face as the sun gradually uncovered his chisled features.

"Bella!" Rose called from the porch pulling me out of my thoughts. She was dressed in a long blue tapered dress, something I'm sure she had been given by Alice.

"Hi!" I half ran, half jumped up the steps to give her a hug, "I missed you so much!" Despite dating my brother for as long as I could remember, Rose had always been there for me separately, she took Emmett out of the equation when I was dealing with and put me first. She had acted like the big sister I needed, teaching me about periods and sex when Charlie and Renee came up useless. If it weren't for her I never would have been able to keep it together in high school. Years of calls and texts couldn't fill the hole Rose made in my life- I guess I was a lot happier because of their shotgun wedding than anyone else. Alice complained for ages to me about it,saying she never got a chance to plan with Rose let alone go to the wedding. But their simplicity didn't bother me, they were in love and been engaged since high school and it was what they wanted to do. Whereas Alice and Jaspers wedding would have been no other way than the occasion it is going to be.

"Bella I've been waiting all morning! Where have you been?" She looked me up and down and raised her eyebrow whilst tugging on my sweatshirts, as if telepathically saying 'really Bella, you chose to wear this.'

"I was at the Cullen's, Alice and I were planning yesterday so I just stayed over" Rose smirked at me knowing I was doing this all for Alice since I wasn't the most girliest girl.

"What about you when did you get here?" I asked her. I thought Charlie would have at least sent me a text message saying they were home, although the cruiser wasn't parked outside so he was at work right now.

"This morning, we stopped by to see Charlie and came straight here, I told Emmett the Cullen's were our best bet but he wanted to see you!" She laughed before continuing in her excitement, "Come in Bella, we have news". Rose grinned at me so wide I wanted to instinctively take a step back, something about Forks was making everyone so happy and I could only put it down to the atmosphere of us all being together again.

I followed Rose inside and the first thing I saw was a crib. I could feel the blood drain from my face. "Your pregnant" I muttered.

"Bella!" Emmett screamed and enveloped my frozen body in a hug. When he put me down he realised something was wrong, "Bella?" He whispered.

I finally pulled my eyes away from the crib, "Sorry, I guess just initial shock" I smiled at them and gave Rose another hug before looking at them both, "You guys were meant to be parents" I said and they laughed before Emmett gravitated towards Rose to take her in his arms. I took this as an opportunity to escape upstairs, calling that I would be two seconds I just needed to change.

My door barely shut before the tears started streaming down my eyes. I hadn't seen a crib since I was eighteen, and I had made sure to avoid them. It wasn't that I was angry or upset that Rose was pregnant, she was going to be a great mother and I would try my best to be the best Aunt ever.

I wiped my tears as I tried to get a handle on myself but all I could see was the hospital bed; Renee holding my hand telling me I didn't have to do this; my face was just as wet as it had been then. I wanted to scream because my skin felt so hot as if it was burning.

I sat on my floor for what felt like forever until I could hear Rose knocking on my door. I wiped my eyes really quickly before I stood up and opened it and gave her a false smile.

Rose gave me her big sad eyes, "Emmett and I are going to go over and tell Alice and Edward." I could feel the tears starting again at the mention of his name. I nodded my head slowly and she went to reach for me but thought differently before going back downstairs. I shut the door again and just sat on the floor, grateful that Rose knew me so well.

I knew that Rose understood me, and she knew that I wouldn't wanted to have reacted this way. After all it was only Rose that knew I had had an abortion in Phoenix during the spring break of my senior year. I had her to thank for helping me stay normal when I returned, because nobody else knew not even Charlie. She had remained neutral and hadn't tried to decide for me, whereas Renee was almost begging me to keep it, but that was out of the question. I was in no position to have a baby when I didn't know whether the father was Edward or if Jasper was. I certainly wasn't about to put Alice in that position again either after life just returned to normal.

I had almost kept the baby, because some part of me felt that it was almost certainly Edwards. But that small part of me worried that it was Jaspers. Rose was the one that asked me if I was pregnant after I began throwing up after every meal. She bought me the test, rang Renee when I started crying, she threw all the baby magazines in the bin that Renee sent me. After the abortion I came home and set fire to the crib in the garden Renee had made Phil put together, it was safe to say Renee kept her distance for a while after that.

I heard the Jeep pull away as Emmett and Rose sped off to tell everyone else. Who knows what would have happened if I had been there and told with everyone else.

Later that evening Rose came back, and we talked for a while and I told her I was so happy for her. We talked about a baby names for an hour before Charlie came home to the excitement. After that I left to call Jacob and tell him the news.

"That amazing!" He exclaimed. I sat on my window seat looking out at the sheet of rain falling across the street as I saw a familiar silver Porsche pull up outside. Edward and his silver cars never changed- I was surprised it wasn't the Volvo.

"I can't believe I'm going to be and aunt, I feel so young. With everything happening Jacob I feel like we are the only normal ones anymore" I joked and he didn't laugh.

"Bella what if we had kids" I paused. I never imagined having children with Jacob, after what happened today I don't know if I was even ready for this.

"Jacob..." I could hear Edward coming in downstairs. "Maybe it isn't the right time to talk about having kids."

"What about if you think about it for a few days, then when I come down we can give it a try" his flirtation made me laugh. We could try, but I would prevent any change of pregnancy.

"We will see Jacob" I said before I hung up. He knew I was stubborn and that if I didn't want kids it would be hard to convince me. Next thing I heard was my door opening. I turned around and saw Edward standing there smirking.

"Kids huh?" He continued to smirk at me and lean against the door frame. The television was audible in the background with my door open.

"I don't think so..." I shook my head and smiled at him, "Anyway what brings you here?" I asked him.

He came in and shut the door, holding out a CD to me, "I brought this over, it's a mixtape I made you from years ago." Edward use to burn loads of cds for me throughout high school, and we would lie in his room listening to it for hours. It was only from my fourteenth birthday that he would give me particular mixtapes that he created for me.

"Mind if I play it?" I said as I got up and took it out his hand immeadiately after he nodded. My old CD player was a piece of junk, but at least it still played.

As soon as Claire de Lune started playing I could feel my skin tingle. It was like the years fell away, "I must have left this at your house, I'm pretty sure this one was my favourite."

"I know" he smirked before stepping further into my room. "This placed hasn't changed at all," he picked up my dream catcher that Alice got me for my seventeenth birthday just after Renee left. Edward would lie with me for hours til I fell asleep when she left, making sure I didn't having nightmares about her leaving again.

"Sometimes I don't think I've changed" I said and he laughed.

"You'll always be Bella to me" he smirked again before lying down on my bed and looking up at the ceiling. I went and joined him and all I could think about was how it felt like a decade never passed.

We fell asleep like that, listening to the mixtape in our jeans in the dark, relaxation of my room; comfortable in each other's presence.


	4. Chapter 4

**So I noticed in the reviews that some things seem mysterious but a lot of what I talk about in the past happened in _Not Like We've Known_ which is book one in the series that I wrote years ago. **

**If you haven't read it here are some key things that happened that I talk about explained briefly-**

 **1\. Bella and Edward were best friends that became romantic and slept together once.**

 **2\. After Bella and Edward had an argument Bella proceeded to sleep with Jasper after she got heavily drunk with him**

 **3\. At this time Jasper had been seeing Alice but the group didn't know until after this event where Alice told Bella**

 **4\. This made Bella run away to Renee over the Christmas holiday, forging a bond with her neglectful mother and ruining the potential relationship her and Edward may have formed.**

 **5\. When Bella returned her actions had caused pain and upset, Edward had seemingly moved on and so she began to at the end of the story with Jacob- this was just after Christmas of senior year- but Bella and Edward decided to work on their friendship and the story ended there.**

 ** _Apologies for my own mistakes and briefness- I would love it if you could also read the preceding story, but I am loving writing this one and I hope it is enjoyable for you._**

Light streamed in through the open windows, causing me to wake up slowly. I knew it wasn't sun because the light wasn't warm- it rarely ever was in Forks.

As I turned over I saw Edward, lying next to be so peacefully, still in his clothes from the day before, much like myself. I don't know what time we fell asleep but it must have been during the fifth or sixth replay of the CD. We had been talking all night, reminiscing about the games we used to play as children, old family pets, places we would drive to on weekends in order to escape Forks. Although neither of us mentioned that he only did the latter for me after Renee left and my claustrophobia increased. We kept all the conversation away from anything serious or upsetting, I didn't want to talk about Jacob and he didn't talk about Lauren. In those moments I was just so happy it was me and Edward again without all the outside intrusions of our adult lives that separated us.

Edwards eyes fluttered open as I watched him slowly wake up, his eyes searching for some recognition. When his eyes caught my face he smiled crookedly at me, "good morning" he said, causing me to smile in return.

"It's almost ten, I should get up" I grimaced, still staring at his face and the smile that held it in place, "I promised Alice I would get my dress fitted, it's a girls day."

He laughed, "As funny as it would be to see you caught in the wrath of my sister, I don't want to stress her out anymore before the wedding." He continued smiling at me, melting my heart. I felt like that eighteen year old girl that was absorbed by him, completely and utterly in love, who would lean over and kiss him and lye there for hours longer, ignoring the messages Alice would send me.

"I don't think that would be best for Alice, no" I laughed and pulled myself up and walked over to my dresser. I pulled a wine coloured knit jumper out the top drawer, something I'm sure Alice had bought me and grabbed a pair of jeans of my desk chair. I pulled my seater off and the jumper over my head before swapping my joggers for the jeans. "It's raining, surprise" I said before turning around and looking at Edward whose smile had disappeared and rather his eyes seemed full of life. It was then that it registered I just changed my clothes in front of him.

Edward quickly looked away as he realised too that i shouldn't have done that and got up, "Ummm, I can give you a ride, if you want." Something about making Edward flustered excited me, I couldn't explain it but it was playful enjoyment that I hadn't had in so long with him because of the distance. After all, I was inexplicably comfortable around Edward and have always wanted to tell him everything so it initially didn't cross my mind that it was inappropriate for me to change my close in front of him.

I pushed the feeling of excitement away. _Jacob,_ i thought. But thinking about Jacob filled me with an emptiness, so I swapped my thoughts to Alice and today. I had to leave.

"That would be great Edward thanks," I said as we made our way downstairs. Rose was standing at the sink in the kitchen as Edward and I walked in, with Emmett sat at the table almost choking on his food when he saw us.

"Emmett!" Rose began to turn around, dropping her plates when she saw us. I looked at Edward and his crumpled clothes, panic rising inside me.

"It's not what you think!" I almost screamed. This is not how I intended my morning to go. Edward was shaking his head and Emmett was froze in place by shock. "We were just listening to music and fell asleep, I can't believe you guys!" I almost shouted the last part.

"Thank god Bella!" Rose exclaimed whilst Emmett continued to stare.

"I can't believe you would think that! I'm with Jacob and Edwards got Lauren and for God's sake we aren't even like that!" I could feel the anger rising inside of me.

Edward started laughing and shaking his head, "you guys really have the wrong end of the story," he said before grabbing an apple. "Plus Bella and Jacob are pretty serious, they could follow you guys in the parenting role" Edward winked at me teasingly but I just felt more anger rising in me.

"What!?" Emmett almost spit his cereal out, looking from Edward to me and then back again. "No way Bella!" He started smiling and clapping and I have never wanted to punch my brother so much. Rose looked at me with her forehead furrowed in confusion and I instinctively hit my palm against my forehead.

"No we aren't so you can wipe that smile off your face Emmett!" I snapped, "I don't want kids and Jacob knows that!" I walked passed them to get a drink from the sink ignoring Edwards looks of confusion at my comment. Rose relaxed next to me and mouthed 'are you okay', I nodded and smiled at her.

"Maybe we should get going" I said to Edward who nodded, causing Emmett to raise his eyebrows at us.

"Tell Alice I'll be there soon," Rose called as I walked out the kitchen and to the door, still semi annoyed.

"I love you Rose but you've messed with my plans for your bridemaid dress" Alice complained as she stood at the hen of Roses dress with the tailor, tugging at it this way and that.

I laughed, "I was going to say it's hardly her fault but actually Rose did you plan having a baby?" I asked and Alice stood up straight and looked at Rose.

"You better day it wasn't planned Rose," Alice threatened, pointing her pin at Rose. The tailor looked up at ALice with fear across her face, causing me to laugh again.

"Quick it's bridezilla" Rose joked, but Alice's expression didn't change, causing Rose to become serious, "No it wasn't planned," Rose glanced at me as she spoke, "But we were really drunk and we forgot a condom". The tailors face changed from fear to disgust, making me guess that maybe the tailor didn't have kids.

Alice started laughing just as Edward walked down the stairs with Carlisle; they must have been working together in his office. "What's all the laughter about" Carlisle asked us, Edward smirked behind him.

"Oh it's nothing" Roses face went bright red causing me to laugh again. Carlisle rolled his eyes at us and muttered how things never changed before going into the kitchen.

"Where's your dress Bella?" Edward asked as he walked over to me on the couch and I shrugged teasingly, pretending like I didn't know.

"I don't have one, something about me looking my best already" I glanced at alice who glowered at us before returning to work on the hem of Rosalies dress.

"I couldn't argue there," Edward winked at me, igniting my laughter against as I reached out to punch him. He just laughed at me as he walked into the kitchen after Carlisle.

"What was that about Bella?" Alice mumbled, a needle in between her teeth as she rearranged the hem again.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, causing both her and Rose to turn towards me and give me a 'you know what' look.

"The flirting? The staying over?" Rose offered and I glared at her for the second one. Alice let go of the hem and stood up glaring at me when she heard the latter.

"I thought Edward was at Lauren's last night" Alice exclaimed, "he was at yours!?" She looked at me as if my face held all the answers. Which, when we were teenagers would have been true, but I felt like I had managed to conceal them more over the years.

"Edward and Lauren broke up" Rose stared. Causing me and Alice to face her in shock. I had no idea they had broken up. "Emmett told me this morning, he was wondering why you had brought her up- we thought you knew- that Edward would have told you" I shook my head at Rose as she looked st me. I think Alice's Brain was about to implode.

"When did they break up?" Alice asked Rose, the hurt in her eyes evident. Alice and Edward had always told each other most things as they happened, ever since they were younger. It was just Emmett and I that rarely shared our feelings with each other and preferred to with friends.

"Not last night but the night before, they ended it on the phone. Lauren asked if Edward loved her and he said he never did or something" Rose shrugged and looked at us anxiously, obviously feeling uncomfortable. The phone call he had with Lauren must have been the one I over heard, but I thought if anyone he would have definitely told me. We were too close to not tell each other these things. He had phoned me immediately after every breakup before Lauren so why not tell me now.

"And he spent the night with you?" Alice turned to face me in her quest to uncover the truth.

"Not like that," I sighed at her phrasing so she knew I was annoyed, "we were listening to music and we fell asleep, he walked in on me talking to Jacob on the phone about children-"

"That was really weird this morning," Rose cut me off and turned to Alice, "Edward mentioned that they would be following me and Emmett" Rose pointed and my and then motioned to her stomach. Alice was definitely about to combust. "But Bella would never especially not after befo-"

Now it was my turn to almost scream as I almost die inside from what Rose just said. Alice looked at me her eyes wide, "before?"

"Ages ago, it was nothing, I just had an abortion" I shrugged, I couldn't lie to her now when she was asking in case it came out in the future.

Alice's eyes filled with tears, "an abortion?! Bella when!?"

"Spring break, senior year" I could feel my own eyes filling up, I hadn't cried this much in years. Alice's eyes widened in shock and then I saw the realisation hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Who was the dad?" She glowered at me, as if challenging me to answer and I knew finding out Edward hadn't told her and now this would definitely upset her way more than she would want us to know.

"Alice-" rose warned but Alice cut her off.

"Who was the dad Bella?" Alice said slowly, her voice full of rage. My insides collapsed into mush and I could feel a headache started. I hated upsetting alice just as much as I hated upsetting Edward, probably the two most important people ever to me.

"I don't know," I whispered and Alice screamed.

"I can't believe this! Edward or Jasper right? Bella I can't believe this I can't, this has to be a sick joke" she dropped the needle on the floor just as the kitchen door opened. The tailor, who we had all forgotten existed picked up the needle and walked over to her box in the corner of the room, as though walking away meant Alice wouldn't take it out on her.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked, looking at the three of us confused. I could feel Edwards hot eyes on me but I refused to turn and look at him.

"Nothing dad" Alice screamed before storming into the kitchen where they had come from. Edward turned away from me and went upstairs. Leaving Rose me and Carlisle stunned in the living room, careless of the tailor.

"Bella" Alice walked into the Cullen library, where I had been sat for the past hour thinking about life, scared to walk out the room and back into the chaotic world that I had just caused.

I turned to face Alice as she spoke, "I'm sorry Bella, I'm really sorry that I put you in that position when we were younger, that I didn't tell you Jasper and I had been secretly dating. If I had so much would have been avoided. For all we know it might have been yours and Edwards wedding coming up," she joked and I shot a glare at her. "I know I got angry but it was just shock, you know what I'm like" She came and sat opposite me.

"I'm sorry too, for not telling you, and I can't defend myself in this situation but I didn't want anyone to know. Rose was the one who made me get the pregnancy test, she was the one that suspected I was pregnant. Not even Charlie or Emmett know." I said trying to placate her and excuse myself simultaneously.

"I understand. I know now isn't the best time but if you had told me back then Jasper and I may not have lasted, even if the baby turned out to be Edwards." She reaches out and held my hand and a look of peace settled on her face. I felt such a collection of love of Alice there who had dealt with so much from me over the years but never failed to stand by me.

"Maybe I should talk to Edward, I think he heard" I said and she squeezed my hand in reply, nodding slowly. I let go and smiled at her before leaving the library. I had to bite the bullet and deal with this, after an hour of thinking of all the ways to tell him they all disappeared from my head.

I walked up the stairs to the top floor of the Cullen house, I hadn't been up year since the brief time I dated Edward after we kept our distance for a little while. I missed the years we spent up here, building dens and sitting on the balcony overlooking the woods beyond. It was Edwards floor of the house and it was our own little world that I never wanted to leave. But I had had too.

I knocked on the door and a soft "come in" replied. As I opened it Edward was sat on the end of his bed as piano music played quietly in the background. The room was still as neat as ever, and the picture of us as kids still rested on his dresser. The feature wall consisted of hundreds upon hundreds of cds and vinyls all surroundly the stereo system Carlisle bought him for his thirteenth birthday. When he saw me he looked at me blankly and I couldn't for the life of me read him.

"We need to talk," I said going over and sitting next to him on the end of the bed. "I don't know how much you heard..."

"You were pregnant," his voice was emotionless and sounded so unlike Edward it sent a chill down my spine. "You were pregnant and you didn't tell me" he repeated.

"I don't know what to say" I could feel my face going red and the heat and blood rushed to my cheeks in embarrassment. "I didn't know what to do at the time" I said and he shrugged and looked at me. "Edward I didn't know if it was yours or Jaspers, and I couldn't take the chance of it being Jaspers" I looked down at my lap.

"Bella," his voice softened, "I dont want to be mad at you," he paused, "I just, I haven't thought about that in a long time, the way we ended, just always how we were beforehand and how we are now" I could feel his eyes on me, carefully calculating what I was thinking.

"I hated spring term of senior year, I hated it so much not talking to you and having messed everything up with us " my voice cracked at the end and I kept the tears back, I wasn't about to cry again.

"I hated it too and I just wish I could have been there for you and made it" I could hear his teeth grit when he finished talking.

I looked up at him, "made it?" I questioned.

"The morning after _that_ night with Jasper," no words were needed, "and I read your note I drove to Seattle airport immeadiately, I had to stop you getting on that plane-" he paused, holding our eyecontact that was making me feel so warm inside, "I thought that if you got on that plane I would never see you again and I could deal with that". Edward lifted his hand to put a piece of hair behind my ear and I leant into him.

"I never realised this, you never told me" I accused, "things would be different if you had told me."

"I couldn't tell you, not when you came back. I had already gone so far in the drinking and partying that I wasn't who I wanted to be to see you again" he rested his forehead against mine and took at deep breath, "I will never get over you Bella Swan" he said closing his eyes. I starred at him, my body electric and pulsing, I hadn't expected this.

I pulled my face away and put my hands on his chest as he opened his eyes looking at me. "I, Edward I can't do this, I", my heart was beating to fast, everything was starting to hurt.

"Bella..." was the last thing I heard before I hit the ground.bj


End file.
